Merry Marriage

The Qur`an [30: 21] explains that it is among the Signs of Allah Ta`ala that He created for us spouses from among ourselves, that we may find peacefulness and tranquillity in them, and He has set between us love and mercy. This union of peace, love and mercy requires both the spouses to be transparent, honest, and truthful to each other and to fulfil the rights of each other and be honest.

The following are some tips on a successful marriage in light of the statements of Prophet Muhammad (peace and salutations be upon him).

Know your responsibilities – The Prophet (peace be upon him) exhorted both the spouses to please each other and care for each other. He states, “If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter paradise,” Similarly, the menfolk have been instructed to be dutiful and caring to women. Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The best amongst you is one who is the best to his wife” and “fear Allah concerning women. Verily, you have taken them under the trust of Allah”.

Near be angry at the same time and Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire – The Prophet (peace be upon him) once advised his companion with the same words, “do not be angry”, three times. Fire cannot be extinguished by fire. You must be as cool as water to dissolve the heat of anger in your spouse. “A true brave person is not he who wrestles and overpowers his opponent but he who controls himself at the time of Anger” [Hadith].

If one has to win an argument, let it be the other- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Whoever discards an argument despite he (or she) being correct, a palace in the centre [of paradise] will be constructed for him (or her). And whoever beautifies his character, a palace will be built for him (or her) in the highest level [of paradise].”

If you have to criticise, do it lovingly – The Prophet has said, “A believer is a mirror for a believer”. We must advise with dignity and silently. The Qur`an explains that the husband and wife are “garments” for each other and thus should conceal the faults of each other, protect the wealth, honour and integrity of each other, and adorn one another with piety and the best of characteristics.

Never bring up mistakes of the past- “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Judgement.” [Hadith]

Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner – The Prophet once advised his companion, “Verily there is a right of your wife over you”.

At least, once every day, express your gratitude to your partner – “Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to God” [Hadith]

When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness – “All the sons of Adam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness [Hadith]

Help each other in the housework – Aisha (RA) reports that the Prophet patched his clothes, repaired his shoes, and helped his wives with the housework.

Show affection – Prophet (peace be upon him) said that to place a morsel in your wife`s mouth and to play joyfully with her is an act of reward and charity.

Create a spiritual environment at home – play lawful games with your spouse, share Islamic audios and, on a daily basis, preferably before going to sleep, read an Islamic book to each other and discuss each other`s sentiments.

Be considerate to each other`s families – Aisha (RA) narrates that she never envied any wife of the Prophet (peace be upon him) as much as she envied Khadija (RA). Mother Khadija (RA) was given glad tings of paradise and was always remembered and praised by the Prophet. Furthermore, even after her death, the Prophet (peace be upon him) would send sufficient provision to her family and friends each time he would slaughter a sheep.

Most importantly, Supplicate for each other – We should make the following supplication of the Qur`an [27: 74], “Our Lord, grant us from our spouses and our offspring the coolness of our eyes and make us guides for the God-fearing”.

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Posted in Uncategorised on 23rd Jan 2016 by Our Imam | 1342 Views