Our Parents; Our Paradise
We must ensure to fulfil the rights of our parents, visit them regularly, talk to them softly, deal with them generously and express our utmost love and respect to them.
We may feel frustrated, sad and distressed at times when witnessing unfair treatment accorded to us by our parents. But then, is the solution to become frustrated and to scold at them, to shun and to disown them?
Prophet Muhammad (peace and salutations be upon him) said, “The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the strong man is in fact the one who controls himself in a fit of rage.” The Glorious Qur`an exhorts us to “forgive” and “overlook” the shortcomings of those around us since would we “not wish that Allah should forgive” us too if we are forgiving to others? It is imperative upon us to rekindle our relationship with our parents by engaging in a dialogue with them, discussing our predicaments and trying to address directly the core of the issue.
There are various methods we could adopt to address our issues with our parents:
- Speak to them directly and explain our grief and concern to them. However, we must preserve respect and modesty before our parents. The Glorious Qur`an states, “… and do good to parents. If any one of them or both of them reach old age, do not say to them: uff (a word or expression of anger or contempt) and do not shout at them. Address them [parents] with respectful words; and submit yourself before them in humility out of compassion.”
- Express our sentiments to an elderly reputable person who may enjoy some influence over them and thus explain to them kindly. It may be that their behaviour and conduct with us is influenced by some factor. We must identify that reason.
- Read books of the pious predecessors and listen to the speeches of our great Ulema which may also help us overcome the anger, frustration and distress we may be experiencing.
- Keep a very friendly and positive attitude towards them and hopefully this will soften their hearts towards us. A man came to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) and asked, “O Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him)! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Your mother.” The man said. “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man further said, “Who is next?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Your mother.” The man asked for the fourth time, “Who is next?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Your father.”
- Bring them some occasional gifts. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) states, “Join ties with one who cuts you off, give to one who deprives you and forgive one who oppresses you.”
- Lastly but most importantly, supplicate and make dua to Allah to instil love and compassion between us and our parents. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Dua is a weapon of the believer, and the pillar of faith and the light of the heavens and the earth.”
I conclude with the words of supplication (for parents) taught to us by the Quran, “My Lord, be merciful to them as they have brought me up in my childhood`.” Ameen
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Posted in General on 17th Jan 2016 by Our Imam | 1057 Views
